Just a Joke? | Mom Don’t Do That

Disclaimer: Post may contain spoilers. Mention of rape and sexual violence.

It’s curious how mere seconds in a movie or TV show can seamlessly add a new layer of silence and erasure to the problems that ail society.

There are many redeeming qualities in the show “Mom Don’t Do That” (which can be streamed on Netflix). In a sea of dramas where only young characters find love, characters who have been married, had children, and are a little older only seem to find new love as a comedic afterthought. The 60-year-old mother is one of the main characters, along with her two daughters, who are all single and trying to navigate that all elusive romantic love when they have slim pickings to choose from in the dating realm.

But in progress, we are doomed if we are also looking for perfection.

In episode 8 of the show, [between minutes 12:49 – 12:54], Ruo-min’s boyfriend promises that if he cheats on her again, he’s willing to be gang raped.

A 2018 study in Taiwan found that men account for 16% of the total reported cases of sexual assault. (Comparable to numbers reported in the U.S.) Within the socially constructed lens of gendered roles, men are “often expected to be strong and can feel ashamed to admit to being sexual assault victims”.

As with women and girls, sexual violence against men and boys is a weaponization of sex in order to dominate or control another human being.

Violence against another human being is not a joke and it’s never acceptable.

The gender of the survivor of sexual assault never makes the crime ok or justifiable.

Cultures that promote shame and victim blaming silence and erase survivors. They create a precedent for the justification of more sexual crimes, a system that protects the perpetrator(s), and work towards the further dehumanization of the individual.

We fail to protect the persons who survive sexual violence when we minimize the violence of sexual crimes in jokes.

So what is it? A moment of artistic expression that shouldn’t be policed; a touch too far; or a much-needed touch point for a more nuanced, often overlooked conversation?

Articles cited:

Male Victims (endsexualviolence.org)
#WeToo: Seeing Male Victims of Sexual Assault in Taiwan (LEAP – Voices of Youth)
Male sex crime victims number in thousands annually (Taipei Times)

Some resources if you (or someone you know) need support on the Finding Support page.