In a world where a hug and a kiss could be a weapon of mass destruction, and act of biological warfare, how do you show others you care? If you cannot hold the ones you love, how do you make connections. If our faces are covered and we can only speak through airwaves, how do we pick up on the nonverbal cues that make up a conversation, the subtle facial expressions that can convey feelings and give deeper meaning to words said, or those left unspoken?
New emphasis is placed on the act of thoughtfully reaching out to those you may not have spoken to in ages. Fissures in relationships with those you were stuck at home with are made deeper, more raw and aggravated. Some show up for us more than we ever though possible, while others let us down when we need them the most.
When we can’t physically touch, when gifts must be quarantined before they can be shared, when the value of time takes on new meaning as we are holed up in our homes in quiet corners, how does one feel less isolated while in isolation?
Now, it’s not enough to have a perfectly made up face or washboard abs as you have a first date over airwaves because your internet connection might make the picture so blurry that all extra effort is lost. “Netflix and Chill” really might just be a Netflix watch party and talking about the show, sharing a laugh. Making a move over airwaves can’t be reliant on physically suggestive advances, now a verbalized compliment, intentional verbal communication is required in order for your partner to know if you are interested or not.
Direct communication is required.
If you care to follow the rules of physically distancing, then you must ask permission to get into someone else’s air space.
In a world where “do you want to risk it” can mean more than unprotected sex, people are now in the position to require and expect others to respect their sphere of personal protective distancing. The new normal is assuming that the other person is not “asking for it” at any point because you don’t know if they or someone they love has a preexisting condition.
So how do we express love and affection in this new normal?
Listening to what your partner is saying to you without judgement. If something isn’t clear, ask. A suggestive wink may seem like a good idea, until internet connection issues get in the way and your video gets stuck on a less than flattering angle, so let your words convey your feelings. Be genuine. As we crave closeness in isolation, if you are called to be more open and honest, go for it. Honest vulnerability can bridge physical distances and help create strong, authentic, emotional bonds. For those really taking a hard look at mortality, more and more people may decide to no longer make time for games,
How do we communicate during a pandemic, pre-vaccine? By using our words, and being vulnerable to “catching” feelings.
Caia Rose 